September 12, 2018
Another month has gone by, this has been quite a month of highs and lows.
A couple of days after my last post Terry was put back into the hospital with a bad infection - ecoli in the blood stream. He was so very weak and his hemoglobin was down again. I don't think I mentioned it previously but in the past couple of months he had 6 blood transfusions!!! We made 7 trips to the ER because of pain in his penis and blood clots clogging up the catheter.
On that Friday, August 17 (I think) we had six doctors come into the hospital room and they talked to Terry and I about having him go on hospice. He told the doctors YES! He said he "Just wanted this over with." I recorded the conversation to have our children hear it. It was a difficult discussion but the bottom line was that there is nothing they can do to cure his cancer so it seems to be best to stop poking and prodding him and just let him live out the rest of his life with as much comfort as possible.
We came home that afternoon with antibiotics but got a call to come back because the infection was so bad. We stayed at home with TJ and Amy for about an hour before heading back to the hospital. They kept him while they worked to determine the type of ecoli so they knew the best antibiotic to use. Life has become a blur, I don't remember if he was in the hospital for the next week or if we came home that Sunday. In any case our friend, Rick, came from Westfield on Saturday and he and I went to the hospital to see Terry at 10:00 that night. We said we would bring him a milk shake the next day. He called me the next morning and said they were releasing him and to bring his milkshake. He no longer needs to watch his diet!
We brought him home and the kids came to visit, we all had some Prosecco and toasted to Terry.
The first couple of days home were very busy with Angela Hospice people and deliveries of medical supplies. We were very grateful to have Rick with us. He provided comedic relief and household help. Lori also came and stayed a few days, it took all three of us to get things settled and to deal with all of the new routines.
That Saturday the Hospice had a small service for Terry to thank him for his military service. He got a framed certificate hat pins and a nice handmade blanket. Several neighbors and family came to the service. We have had many neighbors come by for visits and lots of phone calls and messages. It is very nice to have so many people that care.
Last night he fell three times during the night. I had to call EMS one time because I just could not get him up! This is very hard!! There are moments when I think I just can't do this anymore. Rick went home a couple of weeks ago but is heading back here on Saturday. I hope I can hang on that long! I know I can call the kids but I really want them to enjoy the time they have with their dad and not have to take care of the nitty gritty. Plus it seems the middle of the night is the worst and they need to be in their own homes so they can sleep. This is hard enough on them without sleepless nights.
I hate that they are dealing with losing their father especially on the heels of losing their grandpa and the added stress of Cheri's handling of the will.
When he came home from the hospital I opted for him to keep his own bed. After his falls last night I decided to get the hospital bed. I hope they will be able to deliver it today, I got the one with a full side rail so hopefully that will keep him in bed. He has been up and down all day today, he is too weak to actually walk or get up on his own so I have to listen for the walker and run into his room to help him. I get him out to the living room and 15 to 20 minutes later he has had enough and wants to go back to bed. not long after that he wants to get back up!! I think I may have to put the small air mattress on the floor in his room and sleep in there at night.
Did I mention he is CRABBY????
Yeah!! I just got a call that the hospital bed is on its way!! As soon as Angie finishes his bath I have to take down his bed!!
